The company doesn’t want to waste your time as much as you don’t want to waste yours. The question is to make sure they can afford you. Every position is budgeted.
Boredom Incorporated
Personal therapy. Why am I even posting this for public.
Monday, April 1, 2024
Sanitized Insanity
The company doesn’t want to waste your time as much as you don’t want to waste yours. The question is to make sure they can afford you. Every position is budgeted.
Friday, December 15, 2023
Quick Udpate
It's almost 4 AM, and I haven't gotten an ounce of sleep yet. The nearby masjid has already preparing for dawn azan, but my Youtube window is still playing the soft tunes of "Rainy Night Coffee Shop Ambience with Relaxing Jazz Music and Rain Sounds - 8 Hours".
It's been so long since I'm awake at this hour, especially on a weekday.
They say Thursday nights are the witching period of the week (I don't know if that's the correct term), but the only horror I'm facing is the scary thoughts of existential dreads.
I foolishly quit my stable job for... personal reasons, and now I have all this free time to entertain my inner demons instead.
But that's not why I'm having existential crisis. I've always thought that I don't really belong there. We have different values and I'm trying to pursue something else entirely. I did my best at work, and yet it didn't work.
I keep a jar full of tea variants in my room. Tonight I feel like brewing Jasmine Green Tea.
As I take my sips, I'm thinking about a lot of things. About what have been happening, what will be happening, what I want, what I think I want, how I can separate the things I really want from the things I thought I want, that kind of stuff.
I have a hundred of things that I want to write about. I have a list of writing ideas and prompts, neatly organized in a spreadsheet file with categories and such. I have big ambitions, but lack the resilience to chase them. I want to tell stories, but I'm afraid to be vulnerable. I keep having impostor's syndrome, yet still thinking I'm better than anyone else.
...
Wouldn't it be funny if tomorrow never comes?
And we would be stuck with whatever we have now, whoever we are now. Would we have any regrets? Or would we accept it with open arms, since it's what we've been waiting for?
Sunday, November 5, 2023
November Update: Adult Version
👔 Part 1: The Day Job
The job's not all bad, and I actually have a plan to enhance what I've learned from the workplace during my possible period of resume gap.
🛏 Part 2: The New Place
🏋️♂️ Part 3: The Gym
💺 Part 4: The Chair
♨ Part 5: The Break
Tuesday, October 17, 2023
Radio Spotify
Finally, FINALLY! Spotify rolled up a new update that actually makes some sense.
I mean, who asked for goddamn pop-up info of an artist every time their song was playing on the desktop app? It’s an entire playlist full of their discography which I’ve been listening to for years, for God’s sake. The huge interruptive window really overshadowed the social feature that lets me stalk and silently judge my friends’ music taste – which, sometimes, can be a way for me to discover new music.
What the hell is this? |
I’m a very passionate user of the streaming service, but sometimes I wonder what’s the thought process behind all these weird updates. Oh let me guess, one of those sophisticated longitudinal big data analyzed using predictive algorithms? What about you giving actual people a spot on your platform, just a pinch of that human touch, you know? Maybe feature some top-notch local playlist curator whose playlists do significant numbers instead of shoving only Spotify-made playlists up our throat whenever we try to find something new?
But I guess we did get the next good thing that takes actual people into consideration: The Spotify Jam.
I think I’ve tried out this feature several months ago with my partner, but only through a short-notice pop-up link, which I couldn’t really access other than that one time. I guess I was a “victim” of the A/B testing.
By the time I’m writing this, it’s still available on mobile apps only (what’s with desktop apps getting all the shitty updates anyway).
Based on our impromptu trial last week, the feature was going rather smoothly. The songs played on our respective devices with little to no delay to each other. When one of us skipped the song, it immediately also skipped on the other’s phone. When one of us changed the playlist, the other one also listened to the playlist. Etc etc.
It worked both ways, so not only one person can control the music and such. It worked for the two of us whose music taste overlapped and we listened with the same intention. I wonder if there would be chaos ensuing in extreme test cases like filling the whole Jam session with the maximum 20 users and having all of them fight for control over the music. My optimism guessed it would be too much hassle for the 20 people to connect through certain links just to troll (but I could be underestimating the internet culture).
So far we’ve used the feature to spice up one long-distance phone call when I was back home for the long weekend, and to listen together to a playlist we like while we hung out in a cafe (instead of the boring lo-fi ambience songs from a shitty speaker).
I still can’t come up with other possible use cases, though. I figured this is quite a niche feature that wouldn’t work unless you have friends or a partner that also shares the same music taste and willing to put in that extra effort to join via a link shared through other social media channels. Perhaps in the future we can directly join a friend’s listening session via Friend Activity feature? That’d be great.
Sunday, May 21, 2023
Essence
Sunday, March 26, 2023
I Want to Do It
To a place where your mind falls apart
To the dark times filled with hopelessness
Heavy sighs and endless abyss
But I long for the words to pour out of me
Like blood flowing from open wounds
All the rage and emotions manifested
Unto beautiful metaphor like nobody's business
I long for the sadness to well up inside me
Void so black it sucks my insides dry
Until I'm left with nothing but dusty ruins
A lifeless corpse with a name for itself
I crave for the soul to feel again
Wholeheartedly become one with the pain
Collecting misery to write upon
Lest I forget how to be human
Everything is stupid, everything is pointless
Yet when I pick up the pen, the ink is gold
And the lenses are rose-coloured
I want to do it
Even when I'm bleeding inside
Even when they tell me it's futile
Even when I have nothing to my name
I don't have the ears for speaking in tunes
I don't have the hands for drawing in sketches
I don't have the power to delegate my languages
All I have left are these strings of words
I'll etch them on the tree barks
Write them on paper sheets
Tattoo them on my scar marks
Type them sentences upon sentences
Let me soak in the moment
Fumbling around the tangled mess that is my wound
Raw, interrupted bleak picture of bliss
Just a shot at creating something beautiful