Quick Update

Yo, how's y'all?

I'm just here trying to write something, trying to keep this blog alive, but the more I think about it.. The more I realize that I'm actually more productive when I'm busy, when my schedule is crowded by events. See, now that I enter my second month in college, I have loads of works and tasks I'm supposed to do instead of writing a blog post; I need to make books filled with college kids my year's data and pictures. I have physics and chemistry homework, I need to catch up with my limit sub-chapter in math, I need to go to campus tomorrow at 8.45AM (now's 10.54PM and tomorrow's freaking SUNDAY) for an organization meeting, I still need to buy books from a shop quite far from where I stay now, and the list continues...

but frankly, as much as I have to do things, being opposed by what I'm used to (doing nothing, exactly), I don't feel burdened. Well, sure there's quite some feel of it (I even grow more acne god-dang-it), but I still feel the fun, the excitement.

Why? I can't thoroughly explain the excitement (you don't explain excitement, you feel it, m8), but get this, one task required me to write my address in bandung, and when my pen stopped for a moment before I got to write "Bandung" in the said section, (this sounds so cliche I'm aware) I feel like my whole life, my previous life, my high school life, my hometown life, just flashed before my eyes.

I feel pride.

I'm away from home now. I'm officially a college student. Nobody tells me what to do, but at the same time, I feel obliged to do my best for everyone. For me. For my parents. For the sake of God. For my friends who had always supported me. For my teachers. For the people who appeared in my life of course particularly sent to teach me life lessons. For those who haven't appeared in my life just yet.

For everyone.

Untuk Tuhan, Bangsa, dan Almamater.

I'm a Ganesha student now. I'm an Atharwahija and I'm proud.

Hello Friends

Although I doubt anyone would expect seeing me posting again after a long while...

There has been lots of things I want to write. I've gone through lots of things without letting you guys notice. As usual, my plan to write regularly had come to a failure. I'm too lazy and clueless to write, as ever, but now I'm just in my mood so I decide to write about the highlights of my current life...

Like writing a letter to a long lost relative.

Why I'm doing this, I'm not sure. Why I feel the need to reveal myself for the world to see, I have no clue; I just do.

Things have been... great. No, really. It's awesome. I'm now officially a college student, mahasiswa, if you will. I like the sound of it. Maha Siswa. Mahasiswa ITB. FMIPA 2013.

Now, it's not my intention to brag. I wouldn't say I'm proud of myself for entering, but this is definitely a good start for my future.

Before I was accepted officially as a part of ITB, as universities commonly hold, there was some kind of orientation program. You know, that period of time when you need--no, have to do the tasks the senior committee has assigned, wear and bring bizarre stuff, follow orders without questions, getting yelled at for no absolute reason... 

That was kind of exaggerating wasn't it? Rumor has it that way, but my orientation program was scarcely something like that-- a bit, though. ITB's orientation program is called OSKM (look it up if you would). It focused more on campus introduction and orientation (duh) for our college days. We were required to make some kind of gigantic name tag, though, and we had to bring some heavy-arse stuff, but they are not so burdening as to make us stay up late and get sick. No, there's plenty of time for it later..

I wanted to make a blog post special for the OSKM week but apparently that just didn't happen. What I'm pointing out now is the lesson I had learned during the orientation week.

If you're a devoted reader of my blog [laughs dryly], or you just simply know me, you'd notice that I'm not that kind of person who has a concrete vision / ambition / dream-- not even talent. When I got accepted in this uni, it wasn't because I have a huge ambition to enter. No. I merely just got lucky... (see, when writing this I actually feel bad for the people who REALLY wanted to enter). I want this uni as well, because it has its reputations, and my parents thought it would be a jumpstart for a good career. So I comply.

However, things aren't that simple anymore. I cannot become a "just" student to attend classes, do homework, and study at home. Not anymore. During the programs we were constantly asked about how we feel after we got accepted, about our visions, why we registered to the uni, those kind of stuffs. What I have in mind was only to study good and graduate and get a sufficient job.

It was wrong to think that way, according to them.

Kalian masuk ITB itu harus punya tujuan!

They taught us that money and steady job isn't the main goal here. Changing our country for a better place, that's what we all should aim here. Anyone can get good grades and good job. People with pure dreams, that's rare. I frankly was appalled by how right they are and how blind I had been all this time.
I shouldn't be thinking about how good job will make me sufficient. I shouldn't be thinking about how to merely earn fortune. I should be thinking of how my knowledge can benefit people and my country. Look, I realize how very cheesy this sounds, but the program just opened my eyes. My words will not express accurately what I felt. It almost felt like epiphany. I was determined to change since then, to get my arse off my comfort zone.

I had been a comfortable introvert. I avoided people. I always tried to talk as less as possible, but now, I feel like knowing people more. I try to make friends no matter how awkward I may look. Friends they might not be, but at least I know them. I heard being friendless in college will kill you. Figuratively, though. Because I'm not good at remembering people (or that I'm not empathetic enough to care about them), I'm starting this new technique in which after I met someone, I'd write their names on a small notebook, and things I've learned about them. Because there are so many people from so many faculty and so many different classes and different culture and hometowns.

Since I got here, I take public transportation everywhere. In my hometown I would ask to be driven everywhere; to school, to department store, to my friends house, and if I'm not, I wouldn't go anywhere. I even think I walk more in my first month living in Bandung than I did during my seven years in Balikpapan. This was also a start. I complained at first, but now I'm liking it.

I still can't decide my concrete vision / ambition yet, but hopefully I will learn on my way through. I felt different. It feels good. My first steps out of my comfort zone and I feel thrilled. I'm starting my life adventure now. Wish me luck so I can be a better person than I already am.

-T