Sunday, January 18, 2015

Happy New Semester!

New semester is upon me, and my feeling is all mixed up. I'm kind of excited and afraid at the same time, like, I know that this semester will be very busy days for me. I'm taking more academic classes than I did last semester, and I still apply for some physics experiment assistance so... well, wish me luck.

Even right now I should be doing my reports for Sunday. Hell yeah I got things to do on Sunday. I'm used to write reports on Saturday nights, but usually not before even the semester starts ._.

I actually have a lot to write about, you know, ramblings, rants, stories, bs-es, and all that. But the most important thing that I've been about these days is how I want to change. Yeah, change, like, to be better. I guess you can say improve myself. It's kind of a cheesy new year resolution thing, but the thing is I didn't decide it because it's new year or anything. It's because I just want to. Well, stuffing this semester with the whole academic affair is one of my pathways. I figured if I'm actually really busy, I wouldn't have the time to slack (oh lookie who's on her bloggie when she's supposed to do reportie).

But I'm not kidding. I even start considering doing things I never did before, like, um, cooking. I've never actually cooked before, too lazy to do it tho. But I just ate dinner with my homemade macaroni and sausage bits. Unfortunately there were not much macaroni left so I had to fill my stomach with more snacks. I ate apple. Apples. DUDE. If you knew me, you're gonna think it's a big achievement. I always hated veggies and fruits. On normal condition I could've just munched potato chips or something. Oops why am I bragging. Well the point is that I've been trying hard to change.

Maybe next semester I'll try build a rocketship.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Menulis Fiksi Itu Mudah?

Ketika kau menulis fiksi, kau bisa membuat apapun terjadi dalam tulisan itu. Kau tidak perlu mengingat-ingat detail kecil atau nama orang dalam pertemuan minggu pagi itu. Kau menciptakan duniamu sendiri. Kau tidak perlu membeberkan hal-hal pribadi mengenai dirimu atau orang lain.

Menulis fiksi itu mudah.

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Itu excerpt dari postingan blog-ku tahun 2013 yang berjudul "Menulis Fiksi Itu Mudah". Allow me to retort.

Ya, aku akui, menurutku menulis fiksi itu (lebih) mudah (daripada membuat cerita realita). Mengapa? Menurutku karena realita yang aku hadapi, kenyataan yang ada di sekitarku, terasa membosankan jika dibandingkan dengan isi kepalaku. Biasanya pikiranku terisi dengan ide-ide cerita yang, bila direalisasikan, akan berujung pada... kursi listrik, penjara, atau kuburan. Yeah, kurasa aku terlalu banyak menonton film.

Jadilah fiksi itu sebagai jalan keluar untukku menjadi tokoh yang keren (di dunia nyata aku tidak keren) dan serba sempurna. Ha. Scary if you think about it, writing is like playing god, because you make your own self and your own world, you know, and if you want the writing to be against everything you believe in this real world, it can happen. Kau bisa membunuh orang di dalam ceritamu. Kau bisa membuat tokoh ceritamu sempurna, tanpa cacat, dan segalanya.

Tetapi fiksi, seperti halnya tulisan lainnya, butuh pembaca dari dunia nyata untuk menjadi cerita yang sesungguhnya. Apa artinya menulis bila tidak ada yang membaca? Kalaupun itu hanya ditujukan untuk dirimu sendiri, setidaknya ada orang yang membacanya. Kau.

Aku masih ingin menulis buku, dan kau tahu, menurutku, aku ingin menulis fiksi untuk buku pertamaku. Karena menurutku menulis fiksi itu (lebih) mudah (dari cerita sungguhan). Untuk menulis cerita sungguhan yang bagus, menurutku harus menginspirasi, menggebrak, atau cerita dari kejadian nyata yang benar-benar dahsyat. Sedangkan aku bukan tipe orang yang akan dengan sukarela terjun ke tengah-tengah pusaran badai (secara konotatif berarti suatu kejadian yang dahsyat dan mengubah sejarah), atau bahkan menginspirasi. Hell, I can't even inspire myself. Tetapi untuk fiksi, aku memiliki banyak ide.

...Atau, dulunya. Dulu aku memiliki banyak ide untuk cerita novel, tetapi setelah kubaca-baca lagi dokumen-dokumen lama itu, aku tertawa. Sungguh, cerita-cerita jaman dulu yang kubuat sangat merepresentasikan kepolosanku terhadap dunia nyata. Mereka terlalu dipaksakan dan terlalu bertempo cepat. Maksudku, cerita yang ujug-ujug selesai, tanpa konflik berarti. Tapi cukup menghiburku, kalian tidak perlu melihatnya nanti aku malu sendiri.

Ada beberapa cerita yang... hmm... lumayan. Tidak jelek, tapi belum selesai dan aku bingung untuk melanjutkannya hingga akhir, sehingga sampai sekarang masih belum tersentuh kelanjutannya. Ada beberapa yang sudah selesai dan cukup bisa diterima akal, tetapi terlalu pendek untuk menjadi novel, jadilah hanya cerpen dan one-shot.

Kenyataan bahwa aku sudah cukup menulis banyak fiksi hanya menguatkan pernyataanku bahwa menulis fiksi itu mudah.

Aku tahu, tetapi mengapa sampai sekarang aku belum bisa menerbitkan novel atau membuat sebuah draft novel yang utuh?

Menulis fiksi memang mudah, tetapi menulis fiksi utuh yang bagus butuh perjuangan lebih.

Resolusi 2015 #1: Aku akan terus menulis.

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Post ini lebih ditujukan kepada diriku sendiri, dan bila kau kebetulan mengenalku di dunia nyata dan membaca ini, aku ingin kau membantuku mewujudkan itu. Paksa aku menulis, kawan, atau aku akan menyesal.

Breathe.

HELLO EVERYONE since this is my first post in the year 2015, I want to say happy new year to y'all who celebrate it. Me? I don't usually celebrate it. About three (or four) years ago or so I went to town on New Year's Eve to celebrate it with my friends. Never again. It's just too crowded, traffic everywhere, loud anywhere, just not worth it, man. I've never been a party animal, yeah. So, the last two-- or three? -- years I'm just sitting inside my house, playing computer games and listening to music, the usual business, like it's nothing.

Yeah, it's nothing, really. I said I'm not a festive asset. It's just 31st to 1st and what's the big deal tho.

On the other hand, well, yeah, I'm glad that some people use this opportunity to change themselves to their better selves, you know, like "new year, new me". I just wish them the best of luck for their new year resolutions. Although I don't know why they just don't change earlier, like, you know, if you're really determined to change, the sooner the better, right? But silly me being judgemental, I don't even have resolutions to be better.

I want to have resolutions, though. But instead of setting it on January 1st, I set it... tomorrow. Why? Because, tomorrow is possibly the day where my academic grades come out, and my priorities now are located at them. You know, the grades. If they're bad, I'll try better next semester. If they're good, I'm striving for more excellence. That easy.

Well, actually, I want to gain more experience in my uni years so this semester's grades will just tell me how I've been doing so far. If they're bad, it means I need to focus on academics more and if they're good enough, it means I may be able to manage my time and squeeze some cool activities that I want to do, like mountain hiking (since I've never been on one and Bandung is surrounded by mounts so I figured it would be a shame if I've never been on one), or volunteering for charity work (I just wish I have enough conscience to be doing one), or applying for kahim.

God. The last one's a joke, even for myself.

To conclude it all, I just want to start striving in my uni years. I've heard things like "good grades don't guarantee your future", but let me think this way, if even good grades don't guarantee my future, what the hell is going to happen with my future if I can't even manage good grades?

Indonesianya sih kalo nilai bagus aja gak menjamin, apalagi nilai jelek?