I haven't written much nowadays. It's not that I don't write, it's just I can never seem to finish what I started (shocker). The ideas came and gone very briefly, like fireflies in the middle of the night. This was not new, but the amount of times this happened nowadays are distracting to the point it annoys me so much. It's like talking to someone who has a hushed voice you had difficulty hearing, and when you ask them to repeat it they just dropped the conversation right away.
It's a funny thing, human brain. The one organ that controls everything going on inside our body, and it couldn't even follow a simple plan it made for itself. All possible musings, inspiration, creation, empire, technology, industry, and it comes down to a frail little blog page. Sometimes I hate how contradictory my brain could be; it amused me with tales of humankind's accomplishment throughout the millenia thanks to its evolutionary trait, sprouting a bean of hope that I could achieve whatever I put my mind to it, and a few electric currents later it decided that getting out of bed isn't worth it.
Our brain has been what excels us as a species, a product of millions of years of evolution, but it's still a monkey brain. It has undergone a slow yet steady process that managed to get us where we are right now, but it's not pefect. No matter how much you trust your brain to make difficult decisions for you, it's not a place to store memory. That's why it helps to be organized. Keep physical (or digital, as in the norm of our age) copies of notes.
So now upon coming to the conclusion that the whole 'ah fuck I can't write' thing was not my failure as a civilized person but instead it's just the way our organ is, I've been starting a habit to take notes whenever an idea pops up. Fragments of sentences, ridiculous punchlines, inspirational quotes, silly questions, whatever. This might seem like common sense to you lot that it's inane to even talk about it, or suggest it, but it helps. Before, I usually dismissed ideas when they're just tiny unblossomed buds, ensuring myself they weren't ready to be written yet. Thus when the time (and mood) comes to sit down and face the blank canvas of word processing software, I had to rack my neurons running, scampering to find those ideas in hidden little mind shelves. Sometimes it worked, and some of my best (subjective, of course) writings were done this way, but I realized that it took a lot of energy, and I got burnt out pretty fast.
Of course, not saying this is the ultimate method to productive writing, but at least there was less effort in scouring through the mind shelves. As you see, so far I have listed 18 titles in the working, yet still no posts cooking in my blog dashboard kitchen.
I'm trying my best to get them done, because even with this method my monkey brain still finds its way to get distracted, jumping from one topic to another, and mixing up my electrochemical productivity according to its whim. But that's just the way of progress. Once you find a solution to something, you will always find more problems waiting ahead.
My apology about the gloom intro. You might be a cog in the machine, but that's only because it's what the macro system is capable of seeing you. After all, one could argue that we're all just a tiny speck of dust in the universe, yet we could still knit our own jumper of meaning nevertheless.
Jolly weekend to you all!
