..I wrote a lot of stupid things, actually. lol. Don't we all?
You're having kind of a free day, alone in your room. Not knowing what to do, you decide to open your laptop. After two minutes of scrolling your FB feeds and deciding it wasn't worth your time, you close the browser tab as you take another sip of that freshly brewed coffee from the old mug you've had since college day 1 (not the coffee, you bought that pack last month).
And then your hands subconsciously type up your blog webpage link. And before long, everything inside pours out. Your hopes and dreams. Your guilt and fears. All your past and future. We all went in a little rowboat. That dumb fiction about your crush three years ago. The weather. Review of your favorite comics. History of your favorite YouTuber. Just everything, you know.
So it's a national holiday today. And what better way to start the day other than brewing a mug of hot coffee and writing stupid thing in your blog about how you wrote stupid things?
Not really, tho, I started this day by listening to Fitter Happier. Just normal stuff.
Holiday or not, I normally start the day by making coffee. Just boiling some water in the electric kettle, as I prepare my filter paper, dripper and coffee ground. The mug is always there by the bedside, patiently waiting for me to greet him each and every day. One cup of coffee ground on the filter paper inside the dripper, and I pour the hot water in. I let the coffee drip until half of the mug is filled, then pour the rest with hot water.
In short, I made an americano. No sugar or milk, because life's too short to wash coffee mug everyday. No sugar means no fuss with ants, and no milk because I can't be bothered to buy grocery as part of my routine.
Making coffee is less about me being obsessed with this roasted, burnt black bean, than a ritual to wake my senses up. Have you ever heard that if a person is depressed and has difficulty finding a reason to get up in the morning, it helps to set a list of small tasks to be done? Well, brewing coffee has been on my list for quite a while, and it has become a habit until now. If you consider the weather in Bandung, the warmth of the fresh brew also helps dealing with the chilly wind.
Sometimes I would wake up to the clock striking 12 pm, do the whole coffee thing, and then sit on the edge of my bed looking at the steaming hot coffee, eyelids heavy, head aching, barely conscious, "why did I even make this coffee?"
It's not like I have something to do. But sleeping again after 12 pm is highly inadvisable at best.
A friend of mine once spent a night here, and the morning after I offered if she wanted a coffee. She said no, so I brewed myself a cup as usual and none for her. She asked stuff like, "why do you even brew coffee?" and I thought to myself good question, why? and then I answered along the lines of, "so it reduces my need to sleep again" and then she asked again, "so what if you wanna sleep again? it's weekend." and then I thought again to myself: good point, why do I even need to wake up?
You see, it's a good thing to sometimes accompany yourself with another person so it shed some new perspective on your life. She pointed out a habit that I wouldn't otherwise notice has rooted deep within me. It has become an automatic thing to brew coffee right after I wake up, doesn't matter if I have anything to do or not that day. It had been on my list for quite a while that I don't even recall I have a list anymore.
When I first started setting this routine on my list, there was a spark of excitement, because I find something to do to help me avoid going back to sleep and loathe myself for wasting my time away. But right now, it has integrated into the whole 'waking up' pack that I barely feel doing anymore. There was no spark anymore. It's kind of like you've been working in a job for quite a while and you get bored doing it. I guess I need a new routine to wake me up.
Maybe I'll just get back to sleep.
