Embrace The Days

Current State:
Mood : Melancholy
Music : Fort Minor - The Hard Way
Survival Rate : 43%

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"I'm still the same person, why doesn't anybody listen..." - The Hard Way (Fort Minor)
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Nothing special occurred this week... except big mess I've just put through alone and make me a victim of myself. Disaster of the week began with my plan to stay up until morning with no sleep after a pass-midnite study task. I didn't target to stay for the whole week, I just wanted to try for once for how it'd feel. But the plan was totally messed up. I failed at my first try on Sunday night.
"Who cares? It's a stupid idea to work on anyway." that might be what you think. It apparently influenced my bedtime habit. Because I stayed up late until 4 the Monday morning and got slept afterwards, I got up LATE! I woke at 7! Thus I had to rush to catch up the schoolbus and became so sleepy in the class. The same happened the next day. Worse, I woke at half to 8! WTF!? Despise, I still tried continuously to stay up with help of coffee and internet browsing (i downloaded tons of songs! at past midnight, the connection was quite fast!) but no use, either. I never managed to success. Was it all because I've been sleeping in Anna & Jill's room? Nah, no way. In my actual room, my roommate often turned the AC on a really cold temperature and THAT is what made me even more sleepy.

And thanks to the bad sleeping habit, I got so sensitive for the entire week. Especially to my crush Steve. In case you haven't known (well, nobody has), Steve was a high-schooler, older than me, artsie-minded just like me, and the only one to respond to my farewell text message before we all went home. Strangely, he hadn't been so artsie-minded lately, not like the first impression he gave me. Perhaps all these physics things influenced him to a nerdie state. Well, Steve always wanted to discuss technical stuffs with Jill. Besides, he seemed to always get so cheerful around her. I witnessed many times when all of us joined together, he looked so carefree, but when Jill went away to take something she left or else, he became so serious with what he was doing. Hnng. I was freaking jealous. You know that jealously kills. Especially if a sensitive-stated teen experienced it. I've thrown Jill my "please-hand-over-Steve's-question-to-me" look but she responded with nothing or the non-deliberate worst "you-are-a-frontal-disturbing-bitch" look. Not that we were rivals or something. She was so careless and rather insensitive for a girl standard. The look she threw was what I felt it was like. Back to topic.

As if it couldn't get worse, this week we got into 4new topic of physics: static electricity. The tutor admits himself that it was one hell of lesson to learn for all the advanced math like vector calculus and curls.
Oh yeah, this tutor is one thing that spiced up my week. He was a tutor with casual character, funny physical appearance and rather childish, but globally oriented and open-minded. When he tutored our class, there are only 2 probabilities of what might happen: 1. he would only supervise us doing the textbook problems and joke around or 2. he would inspire us with his simply-said impressive thoughts. Point 2 would only occurred when we stepped into a new material or when he finished checking our test result (which are always a big zero). It happened seldom, but he told us things we never knew. He saw a concept in a brand new point of view, an easier one to understand. He always asked us our view of problem-solving ways. Shortly, he treated us not like the people who had to eat all the lesson he gave us, but as the people who he could discuss problems with. I liked that kind of teaching style. Moreover, this week he mentioned about 'sense'. A sense to solve most of physics problems. A sense to detect our mistake on the solving progress. He told us that THAT sense is critically important, and it doesn't limited in physics solving only. A sense we hadn't had, that differed us from the ultimate national physics team. "With me still standing here teaching all of you, it indicates your total failure." was one of the sentence he said that week. He tried to imply that physics needed no tutor. Physics needed logic and sense he mentioned before, and other than that, a tutor's role was just a company to discuss things over.
Those words he spoke had caught us really deep. True, he was one tutor to go. Unfortunately, his childish personality still couldn't be replaced even with statement that deep. He was a slob, he was lazy, he admitted it himself. But his laziness drove him to solve problems in more practical ways... and those worked. He also said that "because of laziness, physics develops. It's learned so people don't have to get so bothered to do lots of heavy works." I found it totally right.
TOO BAD, his laziness made us hanging off this morning. Normally, we had unsupervised test at 8 every Saturday, but whenever he was the one who should made the test, the question sheet was ALWAYS late. Like today, we waited for the tutor to deliver the test while chatting over and studied a little this morning. However, he was nowhere in sight and couldn't be contacted at all. So today we had no test, but I'm scared if it'd be delayed for tomorrow or Monday. His tests were all unbelievably difficult, and I hated to do the test in front of his sight. It always gave me the creep. =S
So right now I'm in a hesitation to study or not. I'm afraid we had to do the test on Sunday, thus NO WEEKEND. If it was to held on Monday, then he had to be supervising us. Like I wrote, I HATED it.
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