Breakdown in Bed

We all have nightmares. We all have fears as well.

See, this morning I woke up -- no, awakened by a nightmare I had. My dreams are often weird, abstract, or irrational. I know you'll think that it is how dream works; unlike real life. But man, I seldom know what the heck is going on in my own head. As I believe dreams are manifestations of your thoughts and ideas, they gotta mean something in our real life don't they?

This kind of nightmare I experienced tonight, I experienced some other nights as well. Not exactly the same, but the pattern is similar. It goes like this: I'm in a room, doing something in front of a mirror (like you know, brushing teeth or washing my face), and all of a sudden I got paralyzed. Like this paralyzed sense of knowing there was a killer in front of you, you get scared -- and I mean scared, big time -- and you just have to get away from that son of a bitch. But then you can't. There was a sense of being held by some invisible force and you can't do anything. Your scream becomes mumbles, your muscles become stiff, and what you can do is sensing them coming to get you; you give up.

I would then usually close my eyes and take a deep breath. Then that's when I wake up. The worst part of this is you don't know who the hell they are. There was no serial killer. When I said invisible force, maybe you're thinking, like supernatural force? I don't even know. During the dream I expected something to appear when I open my eyes after closing them due to the fear, but at the same time I didn't want them to appear. When I woke up split seconds later I felt regret for not being able to even see what it is that scare me so much.

Up until now my nightmares on this thing is abstract. I don't know what the hell I fear so much. I want to know but probably would be too scared to encounter them.

See, I've seen this TV show Supernatural and thought I've got this shit covered, but it just doesn't work that way, apparently. My fear -- or fear, in general -- does not work that way. Despite my effort to reason my way out of this superstitious thing through the science of fear, I still feel fear. Just because you understand shit doesn't mean you can easily bail your way through it (idk it just sounds cool to say it).

So, folks, let me ask you this, are your nightmares often as bizarre as mine? Have you ever conquered any of your former fears?