I Hate Instagram

Hey it's ya boy T back at it again with their rambunctious complain of life in general and beyond. Not really. This time I'm just gonna get to the point: I hate instagram.

I wouldn't call it a strong word or exaggeration, really, because I've had my share of good, bad, or even dissatisfying mobile applications, but nothing drives me quite mad as instagram, for personal reason truly.

Instagram is just like that nagging aunt of yours who never stops reminding you that you're not good enough; that there's so many people out there who are more gorgeous, doing better things, or having a better life and job than you in general, after you spent so much in flight ticket on your way to meet her, hoping the next visit would be better than the last, only finding it's not changing at all. Am I making any sense here? I'm probably trying too hard on the analogy.

My point is: the instagram community just reminds me of how inadequate I am. It just reminds me how I'm not pretty enough to snap a picture of myself, how boring I am to not travel enough to post a panoramic beach picture, how lonely I am that I don't have friends to hang out with and take selfies together, how untalented I am that I can't snap my doodles, etc etc. I do live my life so I know that it's not true: I have gone to a lot of exciting places, I have a few close friends and we've hung out and had good times together... I just don't like to take pictures of myself, that's all.

But the inadequacy still stands: instagram makes everyone in it seems to be having much, much, better time than I can manage. It's a red carpet, accessible for public to share the glitz and glam of their life and a e s t h e t i c i s m online and rub it in everyone's face. Such a pinnacle of social media, representing millennial narcissism in its whole.

I know it's a terribly glum perspective, and I'm just being negative. It could be nothing, right? People could be posting things as a reminder of a point of their life, like scrapbook, just online. People could be using it just to connect with their friends and families, seeing how they're doing. People could be using it as a media to advertise their products and nothing else. It could be that nobody is using it solely to show off their all-deluxe life, and I'm just being a total loser here... right?

Sure, in all seriousness, I do believe people use instagram for normal purpose just like any other social media, to share moments. The thing is, in instagram, most of the moments shared are their 'best'. People always post the best shots in instagram, in the highest resolution possible. You can say that instagram mainly captures the ups of people's life. And it makes me compare their wonderful moments to my own messy ones. It's bad. It brings my mood down most of the time. It's toxic.

I do follow some people whose post makes me feel nothing but happiness towards them, but they don't post a lot so they got lost in a pool of others' garbage. Maybe I should just do unfollow spree instead.

Another thing: because instagram posts are either hi-res pictures or videos, they take up massive storage space and loading them needs a lot of internet quota. Not to mention the time I spend to scroll the 'explore' tab, discovering more aesthetic pictures and cancers which I can barely stop. This leads to a lot of time and internet quota wasted. Not pleasant, especially considering most of the posts deplete my self-esteem. It's like paying people to punch the heck out of you. Masochistic.

I know I'm mentally a masochistic by default, but even instagram is too much for me. I just uninstalled that shit so I can finally stop comparing my downs to everyone's ups, and live my life according to my lo-fi tempo... and it works! During the time instagram was out of my life, I lived my life instead of scrolling through everyone's posts and sulk about how my life is shit comparing to them. I actually studied for tests, tidied my room, made small talk to people, got a haircut, read some books, and got myself a boyfriend. The last one's not true, but my point was made. Probably an exaggeration and pathetic excuse to say that this one little app is what keeps me from living my life, but getting rid of it is certainly helping.

I still have my account, though. It's quite a pity to just delete it, because I still have some friends who use instagram frequently and I would like to be able to contact them when I need to, and see moments of their lives when I came back.

Long story short, I hate instagram because it makes me compare my shitty life to everyone else's, it takes up too much of my phone memory and internet quota, and just makes me unhappy in general. I do plan to come back some time later to instagram, though, to unfollow people whose life I do not really want to see. Perhaps when I'm less of a bitter person and more sure about myself.

I don't judge y'all who actually use instagram, though. Like I said, I'm just being negative and it makes me compare because I'm not really a genuine, kind person who would be happy at every single person's accomplishments. In fact you could say I admire your kind heart to be able to put up with everyone's narcissism... or you could say I dislike you because you're a narcissist yourself.


Cheers.
T.