Hello folks tonight I won't be writing you any fiction or complain about my day today. I'm here to share you my tips and tricks to make your day (bad or worse)!
We all have been there; a day when everything goes so smoothly: when you wake up early and you already feel recharged, you pour yourself a cup of milk tea and made toasts for breakfast without having to worry about school or work, the bus arriving in time, when the weather isn't too humid or too hot, you don't have to wait in line in the grocery store, when you win a coupon for free pizza, when your boss tells you how good you've worked even when you slack all day- wait - or when you wipe it and it's clean in one wipe...
...but surely, we don't need that kind of mundane days, do we? What's the fun in sitting for breakfast when you can just sleep off and skip it so you can run to the bus stop and finding it already driving so you have to run another half kilometer to catch it in the traffic light? Good exercise, right? And why would you want the bus arrive in time when you can just walk to school and have to face the infamous bully from behind the third intersection alley? Why would you want the weather to be good when you can be wet from the heavy rain followed by thunderstruck, and if you're very very lucky, you might as well get a taste of the electron shock embodied into you and wake up in a hospital? Free meal, right? And why would you want your boss to tell you how good you've been working? Ain't nobody telling you but yourself! And why would you want free piz- wait, nobody ain't gonna reject that.
So, basically, we want a bad day. We want to forget the umbrella at home so you can soak yourself on your way to school. We want to miss the bus so you can walk and meet bullies and awkwardly avoid eye contacts with them. We want your dog to actually eat your homework so you can tell your teacher that and they will not believe you for that. We want your neighbors to make loud noise the night before so you can't sleep well and skip the breakfast and miss the bus.
So, what you gonna do? Let me share you some tips that can make your day (worse), for it is what I am good at:
1. Sleep it off. No worries, the school ain't gonna go anywhere. It stays there. So, why worry? Skip the first lesson that starts too early at 8 am, and go whenever you want. Don't push yourself.
2. Procrastinate. Never do your homework on the day it's given. There are plenty of time for that later. For now, let's just scroll your tumblr dash until you reach yesterday's posts. Browse your favorite comedy twitter accounts' photos until its first posts. Then browse some more. Find new favorite accounts. Blog about your day. Send anon hate. Search YouTube comedic goldies.
3. Mess with the teacher during class. Contrary to popular belief, teachers are actually cool person deep inside. They just cover it with some kind of facade so you won't notice. Say 'cool story bro' every time they finished explaining something to the class. Tell them to repeat the whole thing they just said if they ask the class if there's any question. If they show their anger, wink at them and show them that you can be as cool as they are.
4. Leave your wallet at home. It's not like the bus is going to charge you or anything, nor do you need lunch anyway. And if you somehow stumble upon bullies who often demand lunch money, you ain't got none. Money is the root of all evil. Keep it away from you. If the police ask you why you didn't pay for those groceries, tell them that. They will understand.
5. Don't lock your doors. It's not like there are thieves who will raid your house or take the wallet you leave at home. Or your TV. Or your laptops. Or your bathroom sink. And if there are, sharing is caring.
How do you intend to make your day today? Would you do any of those tips I share above? Leave a comment about how you would do it! Sharing is caring! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment